What is being a woman?
Here is a conversation between my niece and me.
My niece: Why you cut your hair short and wear trousers?
Is it because you're a boy?
Me: Someone in a short hair should be a boy?
My niece: Well, girls should be wearing a make-up and look
pretty.
Me: Why?
My niece: To be adored by boys, of course.
Me: Why should boys adore us?
My niece: Because boys get marry to pretty girls!
I was shocked by this conversation. My niece was only 3 years
old, and gender had been strongly imprinted in her.
Most women surely put on make-ups.
Most women surely get marry to men.
My 3-year old niece has an idea of a woman, and others are
recognized as men to her. Her idea would be that of ill-advised
child, but that idea could be the origin of what she is in
the future.
Lot of people has such an idea of what women should be or
do. You too, don't you?
That binds us women, I think.
"I should do this," "I must act this way,"
"I can't do that," because I am a woman.
Thinking that way, aren't you controlling your behavior and
even how you live?
We also have ideas against men, of how men should be.
Men must be that way. Men should not do this. Men should act
this way.
Enforced these ideas, men might feel hard. Men also have "that-is-to-say
womanly" part in them, like we women have manly part.
To use words "manly" and "womanly" is
ridiculous but I'll put them that way for convenience sake.
We build up ourselves by discovering and recognizing manly
and womanly characteristics that co-exist inside us, taking
in right part of both sides. Ideas too obsessed with stereotypes
and genders would leave you no way out. Please try to find
yourself free from those ideas.
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