98/10/19 update
Being myself

I found lesbian in comic book named YOUNG YOU. It was by Nanae Haruno (two girls were drawn on the cover). I've read other comics of her. I thought it's not like hers but bought. The title is Double House. That was good too. She's also writing Pieta.

The story is about Maho, a new half (a man who is gay and physically became woman) and Toko who fell in love with Maho. Toko is a girl of a rich family but now working as a cleaning lady. The story is lovely but breaking the common frame with straight words that are from not Maho who is out of common frame but Toko.

Toko says, "There are people who can be adapted to the common frame and people who can't be." Maho went over the wall given to man but can't be adapted to the frame of woman either. He is in a irregular frame called "New Half."
But in truth, no frames are needed even if it fits you or not.

Toko says to Maho who is sensitive about his manly broad shoulders.
"Man or woman doesn't matter. You are you, Maho, and you are one individual. And you are wonderful."

It sounded great to me who lately quit being as "28-year old woman." Let's just leave whether I am wonderful or not. But I am I too. I don't care about being woman or lesbian, or the way of speaking as a 28-year-old grown up woman.
I've been like this for 28 years. That is a fact nobody can deny.

There is no name or frame to my feeling toward someone. Mix my love, trust, respect toward the person and other spices together make my feeling. There is no need name it as love or friendship.

Just I want to be myself knowing exactly why I am here and who I am. It doesn't matter if no one understands. I don't want to be broken down by ambiguous things.

At the end of the story, Maho had dream swimming in blue water.

No one gives me a name. No one gives me the direction.
But I was afraid of nothing.

(Double House/Nanae Haruno/Young You Comic published by Shueisha/530yen)


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